After a long time...

Have been missing for quite sometime now ! actually 3 odd months. What was I upto? Well , just plain lazy. There were lot of times when I wrote some posts in my mind but that never materialized. Anyways, some nudging from friends ( and thank god that there are some of you who end up reading) , here i am. This hopefully should be a fun post for that's what I have been having over last few months. The winter chill has quietly made its way in north India and the weather is at its best. October is a special month for us for couple of regular reasons and some specials as well. Regulars are the fact that almost every one important in my life have their birthdays - daughter, mom, sister , myself and this gets interspersed with multiple festivities we have here. The warmth and happiness is in the air, you can almost feel it. This year was special as kids and myself got over almost 3 weeks of viral sickness in the household and a some professional gains for myself. So now if I am not having fun amidst all this, then something will be seriously wrong with me !

This year was also different for couple of things. We did daughter's birthday party at a place called Energy Centre in Gurgaon located in the largest public park here. The idea was not to be different but for children to have fun. I and the daughter were so bored with the umpteen Pizza Hut parties she got invited for - Same food, same place and  sometimes even similar return gifts. The concept was novel and nice. Kids were invited at the centre where  they first had a movie screening on climate change, there was a solar car ride, the centre head showed them giant solar panels and how they help to generate power for the centre. Post which they all headed for Terracotta painting - we selected pots since the return gifts were lovely plant saplings which each child took home to grow. The area was open, green and so very pleasant in the evening. We have gone couple of times there as a family now . for those in gurgaon, you must visit Roots- the organic cafe of the centre. Don't expect a superlative service- food takes good 40 min to arrive and the menu is limited but the place is like any college cafe...sit in the sun, grab a book, let the kids climb trees or run around and what perfect winter afternoon you want. This Sunday it was a beautiful sight watching them dancing under the bougainvillea tree - the flowers falling down on a windy day over them.

October also had a festival a week. With the kids now of an age where they are participative, more aware, its all the more fun.  A lot has changed the way Diwali gets celebrated now. A few days before Diwali,  daughter found it amusing that we made a big deal about new clothes on Diwali. I found it a little offending given the sentiments  around the festival esp with grandparents around but then it struck me, in today's age  she is so used to getting a new dress every now and then that she would not find  a novelty in the same.  So this Diwali took extra care to ensure that she gets her favorite dress for Diwali, it comes gift wrapped and is a surprise for her. The whole song and drama around it surely made it a novelty, with her now waiting for Diwali next year. Things seem to be changing so fast - there are hardly any fresh sweets being bought- most people end up buying chocolates- even we ended up buying chocolates for the  kids friends. They found the sugar made " khilonas" traditionally used with " kheel" during Diwali very fascinating but backed out when offered to eat them. I wonder another five years and we might not see such things around. People have started going out for dinners on Diwali day - finish the puja, do away with the crackers and then off to a nice joint for family dinner. May be it suits them but I actually squirm at the possibility of my kids ever preferring that over home made poori, sabji, dahi vada and kheer. So till the time I have control, I am going to ensure that they have a very traditional Diwali . If I ask anyone of us, I don't think any of our Diwali memories is about the festival getting different and better every year like birthdays. Most Diwalis for all of us is same - Same puja, same sequence of events in every household, dads still asking moms  every year how to do the puja, same aarti and same food menu. Yet its one of the fondest memories we all carry with us. Given the distraction and fast changing world these children live in, the only hope this mother has is to make the routine so repetitive year on year that it gets programmed in their mind and hopefully in their hearts.

Last month was also special. Some professional gains followed by my birthday. Sometimes I do wonder, I could have been single still or may be married but no kids, could have been in a different profession but what I am and have today is great. I never thought what my life will be in the thirties but I have learnt the futility of planning your life and have started enjoying what comes by. There were times when a maid crisis gave me distress or a bad day at work meant a week of stress- Now I have learnt to take all of this in my stride. I now appreciate and acknowledge that each day of your life will be different. You will get stuck with people you don't like personally and professionally, you will struggle to become a better daughter, wife and mother, you will always be short on time for your children but then the small joys, successes and happiness also come along. All we need to do is appreciate the same.

Have also learnt overtime that there are 2 sets of people who really enjoy the person you are. Indulgences in life is a luxury and these are the people who indulge you completely- your parents and your kids. No one enjoys your success more than your parents. The joy they feel when you succeed is tremendous - more so when you are a woman. Your parents treated all their children equally and fairly. They invested in you as a daughter as much as in a son and when you succeed in life, its a pride that's their prized possession. It can be a small win for you or a matter of fact thing which you deserved but the tinkle in their voice when they hear this surpasses all of that. The second is your children who make you real and humble. They couldn't care less what you have done or not done. They are the only ones peeping out of the door , ready to hug you the moment you land. The eyes twinkle seeing you as if all their lives , they have just been waiting for their tired mom to come home. Couldn't care less what you have achieved outside, you fail if you cant fix their favorite breakfast or read them a book.Nothing can be more humbling and real than this. Not to take away the importance of your life partner ( less he gets offended )- that's more of a relationship of equals - you enjoy each others success, console on failures and move together. yet there are expectations from each other. With your parents and your children, its pure love - its just YOU who matter to them .

In other news, December is round the corner. Intend to soak the winter sun and relish some great afternoons. Hopefully will do some more writing as well. There are some serious topics that bother me at times and hope to let it find its way in this forum.

Having a daughter...

is a dream come true for most of us. The angelic qualities of one notwithstanding, its a visual delight for mothers as it gives them opportunity to dress and doll up the little angels. Ours is a first born and its been a riot of colours in the wardrobe for her. From the traditional baby pinks to now electric greens, you name it and I would have bought for her. Daughters do give mothers a chance to relive what they grew up dressing up as but now cannot wear them for myriad of reasons  - from not suiting their personalities now to ummm... weighty issues. But the best part is the accessories- from tinkling of small payals, pink hairbands with a little bows , little thin gold chains across their necks. And of course, having those little studs in the ears when they get pierced the first time around. It takes me ages to shop for my daughter and I have to admit that it all costs a bomb at all. Our boy- well for him the shopping is in a jiffy and often just a pair of jeans and shirt. I would have never spent so many days ever thinking what I will wear as I have spent thinking before each of her birthdays and the endless choices does not help either- it only confuses me more.

So it really saddens this mother when you realize that your choices are no longer your daughter choices . At five, she has a mind of her own and she will make her own couture choices. So the days  you pick a frock from the wardrobe, it has to be floral skirts. The day you tell her to wear her jeans before she outgrows them, she looks for shorts in her cupboard.  Her father seems to love it - "my daughter has a mind and choice of her own. why do you need to bother so much? She will manage on her own." I repeated the same words a few days later when i saw him livid when an over excited neighbour met him in the elevator and mentioned that her son really likes his daughter and he came back furious.

But honestly right now is the phase to enjoy when you see her enjoying life - where all she bothers is about colours and fragrances. Sometimes seeing her grow up so fast makes you realize that as you trudge along Mondays and Tuesdays on one hand, time does fly in a jiffy on the other hand.

Kids Gemology

Kids Gemology:
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There has been a lot of cajoling and debating happening in our household to buy a new Barbie. Given the over 50+ collection that Nia has, its a strict no from my end at least to buy it considering they have been of no use so far lying in one shelf and to be dusted every fortnight. Here are some aggressive negotiation strategies being used.

Nia with a sullen look on her face walks up to me. "Mom - Sunaina, Nehal, Palak, Aashi are so lucky" ; I asked why ? " They don't have so many barbies so they don't have to plead ( yes that's the word used) with their mother to buy them one"

" Mamma most Barbies you bought for me when I was small. I did not buy them , you got them for me. So I should be allowed to choose my Barbie"

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Television can have all kinds of impact on the kids. Despite restrictive TV watching, the influence of Hindi dubbed cartoons have taken its toll. Recent example showed me the picture
"Mamma- Aadi ne mere  upar ILZAAM lagaya he ki maine uska car break kiya. Kya appko meri BEGUNAHI par Shaque hai " . Well, it took mom quick a while to get over the shock to actually go and be the peacemaker

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Sibling Rivalry at its peak  - Seeing the number of single kids around, my daughter comes back to me one day " " Mamma ,Aashi is so lucky. She does not have a brother. She can do whatever she wants and no one to trouble like aadi does". A worried me tried and explain how much fun is it to have a sibling and when everything failed, i blurted out that  when you grow up, you can go to Goa ( our recent vacation) with him alone in case mom and dad are both working and are not allowed holidays . She thought for a while and sulked " Now, I have to take him for holidays as well when I grow up, Aashi is really lucky" !

A note from your mother on Mother's day

I am a little agnostic to Mother's day or for that matter any other day. Well for one , this was never part of our growing up years ( Valentines and friendships days were in vogue) and my children are too young to have that as part of their celebrations.

So whats its like to be a mother? Oh ! We can find enough books, blogs, opinions on the same and I am not even going there. Its actually different for everyone. I haven't yet found one for myself for every new day is a discovery in itself. There are moments when you wish it could have come a little later in your life and there are days you cannot imagine your life otherwise. You fret, fume, cry, sulk, rejoice, love -do everything . So here's a note from me to the two sometimes angel, sometimes devils of my life.
Note 1:To Nia
We always wished for having a daughter and when you came, everything fell in place. Your dad sent text to all in the middle of the night signed off by your name saying you have entered our life. You are so like me and yet so unlike me. Gentle, frail and loving as ever, you are a toast of the family. Your love for art and music makes me feel like a celebrity mother considering I never had flair for one. You were born with a smile on your face and you carry that always.You have a mind of your own and an opinion. As i say often, you are an ideal child. You were so easy and non fussy to bring up that I actually thought raising children is the easiest thing to do. ( till your brother arrived). You are so much a daddy's girl but you are so much a mamma's darling as well. I love your non stop bantering in the evening sharing your girlie gossip in school and your admissions that you hate boys especially those in the neighbourhood who try to be your friends. You handle the pressures of being the elder sibling so well. I promise to do lesser experiments on you - pushing you to do all that I would have liked to do- from Tennis to Abacus to swimming.  If only, you can do with a little bit of less dominance on your younger brother who follows you like a little puppy as well as dad who has a reason for your any misadventure ( and thinks that its valid and logical as well). Love you darling for having you is such a blessing and a joy. There cannot be a better gift than you to me on mother's day forever
Note 2: To aadi
We were indifferent before you came but I was happy to see a boy for the family was complete. You landed and comparisons started with your sister- she is prettier, she started walking earlier than you. We were a little scared as you started speaking late but unlike your sister, you grew slowly in our hearts- mom, dad and nia. You are 180 degrees apart from your sister. I realized how difficult raising kids are only when you came. You are the little monster of the family. You keep us entertained and me physically active by making me run behind you all the time. Your special love for mom makes my heart swell with pride. If only, you can let me sleep in piece rather than moving cars all over me or if you can stop lying flat down in the middle of the corridor to get everyone's attention. But your endearing nature makes you the most popular guy in the neighbourhood. I have had strangers walking up to me mentioning how you will go and hug them. You make the family proud as unlike your mom, you chat more with grandparents on the phone compensating for her. I lover baby bear when you take my face in your hands forcing me to look at you while listening to you, when you lie next to me to sleep putting half of yourself on me or even your manifestation of stranger anxiety by hiding behind me. You made the family complete , You made us complete. Big hugs sunshine

Signing off with two of Mom's favorite picture

Cracking the code : Summer Vacations

Vacations and that too summer vacations have become a major area of contemplation for modern day parents. I don't even remember any planning and process for the same. Actually the children remain agnostic to the fact - its an extension of a holiday from a weekend of 2 days to that of 60 days , its the parents who have suddenly catapulted it to be an event that needs attention, planning and super perfect execution and the success metrics is how busy was your child during these holidays.

I will be honest. I have also given in to the this fad of new-age parents. I had a single child then and seeing the craze for summer camps and courses around for kids, I actually thought that leave aside being fashionable, if I  don't put my daughter in any one of these, it might impact her learning progress. The camps were teaching everything from yoga to dance to reading etc. I scrambled through multiple sites, got her into one of those only to find that even during these vacations , she was having a packed schedule. It actually suited me as i am a working mother. Its good to come back home to a child whose been busy - somewhere takes the mental pressure off your mind. But when I noticed her reluctance for the same and the fact that 15 days of these courses cannot get her to pick up a book and read or develop love for music., I stopped all of it. My son now 3 has not been to any summer camp and i don't intend to do it either.  My daughter attends piano lessons twice a week with 2 of her best friends for over a year now and she loves it.

But the challenge was not over yet. It had just begun. Like a super mom, i decided a big NO for summer camps but what to do now? Here's what we do during summer's over last few years
1. Plan a trip : Vacations memories are always of some fun trip or another. We ensure that we take good 10 days off  and plan a trip. My kids are yet to get exposed to lavish vacations in Swiss alps but like good old north indian parents that we are , they end up in Indian alps to beat the heat . Be it Nainital, Manali  or coorg, they have all been there. You can be a little innovative and indulgent here - choose an offbeat resort, plan some activities like nature walk and you will discover that bang in the middle of being at a typical Hill station during Indian summers, you can find your tranquility. A little planning here always helps.

2. Friends , Family & Fun : Often we plan a good day out for the kids. There are so many in the building that each family takes turn on a week day and we have at least once a week for next 5-6 weeks which is play dates in friends house. They dance, play, eat, sleep, fight, make up  - all together. last year, the girls- all of 4-5 years prepared a dance under supervision of one lady and then presented the same to all of us one evening over high tea. Similar to what we used to do. I felt such great joy - nothing any summer camp could give me.  We have family over for sometime if they can. Nothing like enjoying the days together - In one word, Vacations means chaos, chatter, bantering and getting pampered.

3. Food : Quiet hot afternoons of Indian summers has always been full of great food. From watermelons to ice creams to mangoes - all to beat the heat. A quick instruction to daily staff and personal supervision in the morning ensures that before I leave for work, the melons are cut , icecream preparations are complete ( yes, we do  give them home made icecream even if sometimes its mango juice made to freeze). The kids are home, a little bored and these little surprises brings them immense joy. Sometimes you can get a little creative and leave a note for them with chocolates

4. On their own: Vacations are to be on your own- laze around, play, dance, study whatever suits the child. A planned summer camp can help but only this much. Most of them get 25-30 kids in one class and of not much use. Remember as children, we enjoyed when we were with friends or family. An exciting camp can at best keep a child engaged for a week. More than that, its as good as going to school. The exorbitant fees they charge morally forces the parents in turn to force the child to attend such courses. I remember paying one such tuition fees for a private swimming lesson with a dedicated instructor for my daughter- Certain days when she did not feel like going, I was so livid with her as the money wasted pinches you.

Finally, as working professionals , we all yearn for vacations. We look back with nostalgia on those days. The irony is that for our own children, we end up having a different speak.

Let there be space in your togetherness

This thought stemmed from one incident - I met a couple few days back. They seem to be always be there for each other. They are both working couples and they always hung out together...parties, family functions, gyms , shopping malls. The guy was enamoured as the girl even refused to go to her parents house without him. They were married on Facebook, had a common bank account , shared passwords of their emails . In most people's eyes they were the perfect couple truly made for each other. The problem started soon when they seemed to yearn for space yet not able to voice it out lest it manifests as not loving each other anymore and it exploded when they had a child who required more of the mother initially. They just did not know how to give each other space and resulted in the woman getting into a depression.

This got me thinking. The pressure on relationships today often makes them claustrophobic. So much has been written to be more participative, communicative and sharing and caring in a relationship, that sometimes the pressure often leads to missing out on your personal space. The irony is that more often than not we don't realize it as well and breakdown of relationships often started getting attributed to other things than the root cause.

The other noticeable thing is that more often than not , we attribute this to adults. If you be a little perceptive, you will see that we often miss the same point when it comes to children. Sometimes the over protective zeal and paranoia results in being all over your children all the time. I noticed this with a lady I see in my building. She picks up and drops her son everyday to school . Being only child, she pays great attention and the child has his study time, TV time , even soup time. They come down together where she plays with him in the park. In fact she refused for a car pool as well as she thinks its quality time with the child. Anyone would have given her full marks for being the best mother possible - I did as well. Unless one day, I saw her 6 year old shouting and crying in despair that I want to play with my friends , go to their house, go for school picnic and why are always with me.? Now she might have some valid reason for all you know- health etc but I do feel that she needs to let him move out a little on his own.

The expression of togetherness has manifested itself in a big way in our lives. Most people today struggle to maintain a balance between personal space and togetherness with their loved ones. Its often confusing as young adults or as young parents to decide how to be your own self without giving the message of being selfish. On one hand, you hear that true love is finding your soul mate and becoming One and on other hand , you also need to keep a piece of yourself only for you. Its more difficult when you are a parent- you are trying to be protective, caring but when do you get on the verge that it becomes stifling for your child , you never come to know.

The answers are not easy to find - may be we need to go back to basics - a balance of everything needs to be maintained , excess of everything is bad. However how do we do that without someone pointing fingers at us for thinking only for ourselves ? These are not so easy to come by. In all that, here's what Gibran said long ago - its so apt and true

"

But let there be spaces in your togetherness

and let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:

let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls."

Lost in cricket indifference

As everyone is caught up in cricket fever, heres an interesting dekko in life of a man who is passionate about cricket married to a lady whose interest in cricket is only when India plays pakistan and that too in finals and 2 kids aged 5 and 3 who are yet to develop liking for his passion. The Poor Soul has been lost in cricket indifferent family These days this is whats happening in our household:

-Saturday lunch is usually out and at place of kids choice. Daddy wants to catch not only the match but pre match analysis as well. The kids are rushed to take a bath just after breakfast and we decide to leave for lunch at 11:30. Now we have been used to a leisurly lunches for quite sometime. As three of us gulp the food as his pestering and leave,he decides to take a shorter route to reach faster and guess what - divine retribution- there is a traffic jam and rest as they say is history

- The only high point in having a son forhim is that one day he thinks they can watch and play sports together. However it reaches another level when he tries to make him watch-" See now this one will bowl and he is called a bowler and this one will hit the ball hard for a six and he is called God of cricket . FYI- tendulkar was batting in the last India-SA match. Of course the little champ takes it in his stride, hears it out and then gets busy in making imaginary tracks and noises with his cars.

- There is not a bigger downside of nuclear family then when you have to watch cricket alone. You can see the terrible soul yearning to blurt out comments but restrict himself lest people mistake it for dementia. So he either calls few friends during drinks break or connect through facebooks and twitters of the world.

- The morning tussle on newspaper has taken a backseat. He starts actually with the sports pages at the back of the newspaper so we split the paper. But theres a new tussle between him and the kids . He would like to read whats on cricinfo and multiple expert opinions while his devilish angels want to play angry birds. So theres pleading , cajoling and then threat but his own blood show their true colours- the other day, they went and hid under the table with their ipad untill father gave it all up in exasperation

and finally ,

- Just for sake of companionship, I give him company somedays- have to admit some of the matches off late has been real interesting to watch. As two mature individuals, we differ a lot - me an eternal pessimist about India's chances to win this world cup and he an eternal optimisit of seeing the dream of world cup coming true. So here goes the exchange of conversation between us

Me :" They will never win . They dont have the winning instinct"

Him : " Just wait and watch. Dhoni is really smart and shrewd . He will have something up his sleeves

Me : " They dont need to win. They make enough money through endorsements these days and then they have IPL . So even if they loose, their cricketing carrer will never end

Him : " You'll never understand. Winning is intoxicating and addictive. Its a high !

Me: " Why isnt Dhoni playing X player ? Why is he making these decisions"

Him : < exasperated> " Why do people like you who will wake up in the morning as if nothing has happened need to have opinions"

< shrugs his head further > " thats the problem in this country. People have an opinion on everything . They can't seem to enjoy the game just for the love of sports"

I am not going further into what will happen if India wins or looses - I can imagine a week full of sulking or exhilaration either ways - extreme reactions to extreme passion for the sport

Nutrition Board

This one was in the draft and much as I know , I will be reprimanded for yet another post on motherhood especially after the debate the last one led to , I was forced by my neighbour to post it . But sticking my neck out, I think all of you will like having a look at this one. Its also a way of having all thats in my mind at one place and I am surely going to take a print to keep it handy.

The prime thing on our mind about our children is their health- are they being brought up in a healthy way ? Whats the right nutrition for them? The enviornment is different than the one in which we have been brought up - the air , the water and the food is all different. This become especially difficult if you are working or you have a fussy eater at home. As a young mother, I relied on information I collected from mom, mom-in-law, aunts or friends but the best one has come from two peadiatricians I discovered when my son was born. They validated some of the age old wisdom passed onto me and negated some as well. He also made me have a mental chart of how to go about providing healthy nutrition to the child. I still struggle following it but I do try. Our kids will learn how to eat breads and rice for they are our staple diets but these habits need to be inculcated at an early age.

A word of caution: The items listed below are not a daily nutritious diet for your child but its actually a solution in case you are having a bad day with your child eating habits.

1. Try and give your child one egg, one fruit and couple of nuts. Nothing provides instant energy and esssential nutrients than these. On a bay day, a boiled egg to the child can always be considered a good alternative. Munching some nuts while waiting for the bus can be a good alternative as well.

2. Soups- vegetable or daal and fruit juices are easier to give to a child but should best be avoided if you can provide same ingredients in solid form. However you make, a soup will always have more of water filling up the childs stomach with much lesser ingredients.

3. Fruits and vegetables in most situations can be interchangeble as the vitamins and minerals both provide are similar except a few. So on a bad day, substitute those vegetables with Fruits.

4. Children like to have fruits when they see fruits as part of family eating habits. So ensure you sit and have a fruit with your child. Believe me, a week later , they will eat it like family lunch or dinner

5. Green vegetables do not have many interesting options of cooking esp since most nutrients are lost by the time they are cooked. The best is to chop them ( spinach etc) and add them in the dough of paranthas and chapatis. Beetroot etc can be boiled with potatoes and you can make pink cutlets for your darling fussy daughters.

6. Milk always becomes a bone of contention. The same can be substituted by milk products. Usually a cup of milk is equivalent to one cheese slice. So the day you see kids have not had 2 glasses of milk , quickly give them a paneer sandwich or like I do, open and hand over one cheese slice rathar than fussing over milk .

Hope you found them useful.

Moments of Truths - Kids

As a full time professional and a mother of 2 kids , I have stumbled upon lot of experiences which I would like to call my " Moments of Truths". You actually dont realize them so easily. They begin with a self denial , then some self effort and finally you come to peace with their co existence in your life. They are also unqiue to each individual and hence my " moments of truths" can be outrageous in your approach for life and vice versa. But I am pretty confident that some of them , you will definitely find a resonance with.
MOT 1 : " You are the " Operations Manager " of your house " - I have debated and denied it for years with lot of friends. I always felt that two adults individuals living together should have equal distribution of work with clear responsibilites defined but post the kids, I have realized that no matter whether you have a wonderful better half who helps you in sharing this responsibility or not, whether you have supportive parents or in laws or not, whether you have been lucky to have had minimal maid crisis, a mother is and will always be the one running operations of the House. This does not mean that you end up doing the household work - Not at all. But the household " management " and the kids comes on your responsible shoulders. Whether its distribution of staff salaries, crisis and leave management, remembering umpteen birthday parties or play dates your children need to attend , checking the school diary for circulars or even deciding the menu of the meal keeping everyone's preferences in mind so as a full time working professional, the earlier you make peace with it , the better and happily you would be able to do the same.
MOT2 : " Its okay to steal sometime for yourself even from your children" - Long ago, I had a colleague who had a six month old daughter. She was one of the most vibrant person I had met. She had taken a transfer from bangalore to Delhi to join a new organization with her mom and a six month old daughther ( Husband came in a year later). She managed time for workouts, meeting old friends and partying on the weekends. Once someone asked her " Dont you feel guilty that you dont get to spend time with your daughter that much ". She mentioned - " You know I dont want to grow old to tell my daughter that I missed XYZ things while raising her and make her feel burdened by that. My own mother does that sometimes and I hate it and I would not like my daughter to have the same feeling". Some of us will agree with her and some of us dont. I agree to an extent but over a period of years, I also know that we need to " junk that guilt" and it's okay to have time-spa for yourself. A rejuvenated you can spend a far better quality time with your loved ones than one haggard and tired and compalining of living life only for the family.
MOT3: " Its good to spend Quality time at home but always prioritize where " - In the initial years when my daughter was small, I used to try very hard to be a " mom of all trades". I was ready post work for another work shift with my daughter trying to read her a book, fix a meal, planning her next day meal, instructing the maid, checking out on her cupboard and much more. Often I was physically and mentally exhausted by the time I hit the bed and the cycle wld go on like a clock work from Monday to Friday. You can very well imagine what would have happened when you have a second child arriving 2.5 year later. Over multiple experiments, I have realized that its very important for you to prioritize. It took a while to see this not as a personal failure of managing work and home but a smart move which is good for the child as well as you. So these days, I have priorittized my time for " health and hygiene" of the kids - I might not get time to read a book to them or play a board game with them but I always ensure that I have dinner with them, the maid knows what and most importantly " how" to cook their meals, give them a shower myself in the morning, check out on their clothes being washed properly and carefully and overall baisc hygiene is maintained in the house. With no family support , I realized this was the most important thing I needed to focus on to keep them healthy and not fall prey to illness - Off course , the weekends are there for all the fun things we miss out may be on a weekday but this ensures that whatever you do, you are happy with the outcome.
There are many Moments of Truths - related to marriage, work, health and even your own self. They have come after many years. Sometimes difficult to spot as well since they become an integral part of your life, Sometimes too personal to share but till next time , hope you enjoy this.