On an ongoing debate at a coffee table as to why women are better than men at multi tasking, I was amazed how some of the men thought that we end up glorifying the role of a woman much more than what we end up doing. Now that was too much so I asked them a volley of questions for them to answer. Now since I am a full time professional, this was limited to the working women- working men debate. Its also limited to an Indian setting where House helps are around and hence as per men, we don't do most of the work ourselves and as part of the debate was pointed out to me that you have a driver, a cook, a nanny for kids and someone to clean the house and yet you claim that you do more work .
So here goes the argument
1. You don't manage house helps - Having house helps is of help only when you efficiently manage them. Its like having an extended team working for you and that too in your absence - virtual reporting for a large period. How they do and what they do if not monitored can leave your entire house in a chaos. Managing them, their egos, their desires is not easy especially when you know thats your support system. Any breakdown and the entire house comes down. It comes with a lot of stress as well. How are they keeping the kids? Are they being given proper meals? Is the hygiene being maintained - I must admit to at times not only checking but even smelling my kids clothes to ensure they are properly washed. This privilege comes with a lot of stress and ask any mother who keeps a house help- working or not working. Its the most difficult people management experience you will gather.
2. You don't get 5 missed calls from your house and then have a panic attack seeing them after a meeting only to call back and find that your 5 year old daughter wanted to know where a particular book is kept.
3. You don't have to decide and answer everyday as to what will be cooked and its gets challenging as the demand for something different emanates from all corners of the house.
4. You don't manage Birthday calendars and play dates especially during 2 months long summer vacations. Acknowledgements of invites, reminders in mobile phones a day before and arrange the logistics to get them dropped to the endless pizza huts ,MacDonald's and malls food courts ( why cant people be more creative when it comes to arranging parties for their kids ? that's for another day perhaps !).
5. You don't remember that Monday is skating day , Tuesday is swimming day , Wednesday is sports day and arrange respective stuff to be carried to school a day before.
6. You don't come back from work and then check your kids school diary on a daily basis, write notes for the teachers and make notes for yourself on the key dates in the month.
7. You don't spend at least 25% of your weekends pulling out winter clothes, dry cleaning them , putting them away and again getting them dry cleaned to manage the seasons we have here in north India
8. You do attend PTMs and ask some questions to the tutors but I bet half the time you would not even know the current topic being taught in the class.
9. You do spend time with kids reading out to them and playing but you don't bother whether their shelves
are dusted and the same books kept properly
10. You are not pulled by your children the moment you get down the car to keep your stuff aside and jump right into the park to play with them.
11. And you certainly don't get a frantic call from your child asking you to come on skype in the middle of the meeting because she wants to show the bruise her brother has given her right there and then and you cannot even explain office firewalls.
So here goes the argument
1. You don't manage house helps - Having house helps is of help only when you efficiently manage them. Its like having an extended team working for you and that too in your absence - virtual reporting for a large period. How they do and what they do if not monitored can leave your entire house in a chaos. Managing them, their egos, their desires is not easy especially when you know thats your support system. Any breakdown and the entire house comes down. It comes with a lot of stress as well. How are they keeping the kids? Are they being given proper meals? Is the hygiene being maintained - I must admit to at times not only checking but even smelling my kids clothes to ensure they are properly washed. This privilege comes with a lot of stress and ask any mother who keeps a house help- working or not working. Its the most difficult people management experience you will gather.
2. You don't get 5 missed calls from your house and then have a panic attack seeing them after a meeting only to call back and find that your 5 year old daughter wanted to know where a particular book is kept.
3. You don't have to decide and answer everyday as to what will be cooked and its gets challenging as the demand for something different emanates from all corners of the house.
4. You don't manage Birthday calendars and play dates especially during 2 months long summer vacations. Acknowledgements of invites, reminders in mobile phones a day before and arrange the logistics to get them dropped to the endless pizza huts ,MacDonald's and malls food courts ( why cant people be more creative when it comes to arranging parties for their kids ? that's for another day perhaps !).
5. You don't remember that Monday is skating day , Tuesday is swimming day , Wednesday is sports day and arrange respective stuff to be carried to school a day before.
6. You don't come back from work and then check your kids school diary on a daily basis, write notes for the teachers and make notes for yourself on the key dates in the month.
7. You don't spend at least 25% of your weekends pulling out winter clothes, dry cleaning them , putting them away and again getting them dry cleaned to manage the seasons we have here in north India
8. You do attend PTMs and ask some questions to the tutors but I bet half the time you would not even know the current topic being taught in the class.
9. You do spend time with kids reading out to them and playing but you don't bother whether their shelves
are dusted and the same books kept properly
10. You are not pulled by your children the moment you get down the car to keep your stuff aside and jump right into the park to play with them.
11. And you certainly don't get a frantic call from your child asking you to come on skype in the middle of the meeting because she wants to show the bruise her brother has given her right there and then and you cannot even explain office firewalls.
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